literature

Loveotomy - Javie One-Shot

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Literature Text

I can live a better life without you on my mind
Don't need you to decide without you I'll be fine


"Jayy wait!" I yelled as he grabbed his keys.

"Dahvie, I just.. I can't do this, ok?" he said, looking at me sadly. I knew I looked like shit. I knew that my make-up was fucked up from my tears, and my hair was still fucked up sex hair.

"Jayy please I didn't mean to say it it just slipped out!"

He just shook his head and left, leaving me lying in bed sobbing my heart out.

I should've known something this perfect would've be so damn destructive
I can live a better life without you on my mind


It had all started that morning. Jayy and I had been in a sex-only relationship for a while now. No feelings. Just sex.

I had curled up to his side, using his chest as my pillow, running my fingers over his perfect abdomen.

"You're so perfect." I whispered and I could feel him chuckle as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"Not as perfect as you and your fat cock." he giggled and I smiled.

"God I love you." I said, then froze as I realized what I had just done. I felt him do the same and sat up as he slowly did the same.

"You... What?" he asked, staring at me in shock.

I gulped and felt the blood drain from my face, "I-I lo-ove y-you." I stammered out, my hands shaking.

Put me under, under the knife
Love will be gone when I open my eyes


Then he had left. I slowly dragged myself out of bed and pulled on my skinny jeans. I rubbed my eyes, sniffling, then slowly raised my head.

I got up and walked into the bathroom, then opened the cabinet and pulled out the small plastic container Jayy kept his razorblades in. He always had them, since he hated stubble.

I flipped open the lid, and slowly took one out, gazing at it as the smooth metal surface glimmered in the light.

Sedate me loveotomy now you're gone
Leaving memories behind erasing you, from my mind
Sedate me loveotomy now your gone


I pressed the edge of the blade to the inside of my wrist, and winced as I slid it across my skin. I watched as a scarlet line rose up, and felt the pain in my chest fade slightly as the pain in my wrist increased. I grit my teeth and made a new cut, and another, and another. Soon enough, my wrist was covered in scarlet, and I set the blade down on the edge of the sink.

Before I could bandage up my cuts, though, I started feeling a little dizzy. I sat on the floor and took deep breaths, but that only made it worse.

Then, my vision went black.

I can finally see now that love really isn't blind
I can finally breathe again once your memory has died


I slowly woke up in what I guessed to be several hours later, lying on my bed. The blood on my arm had dried, and my head was pounding. As I sat up, my eyes instantly went to the corner of the room, as if I could sense him.

Sitting in a chair, asleep, was Jayy. He had dried blood smeared on him, and it looked like he had been crying, since his make up was really fucked up.

As if he could feel me looking at him, his eyes opened. As soon as our gazes met, he burst into tears and came to me.

"God Dahvie I'm so fucking sorry!" he cried, "I-I realized how stupid I was being and then when I came back y-you.." he gestured at my arms,  "Cuz if that you were passed out on the flo-or and I thought you were dea-ead!" I stared up at him, tears stinging my eyes.

"Why did you leave?" I asked softly.

Put me under, under the knife
Love will be gone when I open my eyes
Sedate me loveotomy now you're gone


"I was scared." Jayy admitted, sitting next to me and wiping off is eyes, "Because, well, you're my best friend and I don't want to lose you."

"You could never lose me Jayy." I said gently, placing my hand on top of his, "No matter what happens."

I should've known something this perfect
Would've been so damn destructive


"The thing is Dahvie..." he didn't look at me as he took a deep breath and said the seven words that shattered my heart into a million pieces, "I don't love you, I love Jeffree."

I can live a better life without you on my mind....
sooooo... first ever song-fic =P

extremely depressing i know ._.

this WAS gonna have a happy ending but then i was like "hmm.. nah. i'll lie in the title (:< "

so yeah, i rearranged some of the lyrics towards the end
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